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Riaan's avatar

So much to discuss from this article! Would have loved to meet you if I was back in Lahore. I grew up, and my family still lives, in a "lower-class" area of the city. Pakistan is a very paradoxical country and I often find myself checking myself when making statements about it. I wish we had more statistics that took urban/rural or economic class into account. For example, a very common story I've heard from domestic labour (house maids, cleaners etc.) is that the men in their family are not really earning or just don't earn enough so they have to do all the labour.

Some more thoughts:

There is just a very pervasive trend of Islamic conservatism in society that cuts across the economic divide. Pakistani media personalities also tend to all have a religious bent. The ones who don't have to check themselves. The most common exhortation I notice across social media is that we aren't religious enough, and our lack of religion is the main reason for the deterioration of our society. The most popular leader, Imran Khan, also had a very explicit religious bent. I'm sure this leads to what your findings say. I'm not at all surprised by them. This has largely been my anecdotal experience.

Women don't really venture out of their houses for leisure so much, yes. When you go to Lahore, you will see huge swathes of people in public areas, but exceedingly few women. This may wary depending on the place though. You will find majority women in clothing markets like Liberty Market, but rarely any in the markets of Hall Road for example. Societal expectations play a huge role in this. It's not considered "proper" for women to be out and about. My house has a small park in front of it. They even designated it a "ladies park" some time ago. I never see any ladies in it. Ugh, I can go on and on with personal anecdotes here.

Not surprised by employers not preferring women either. Men will largely keep working because they have to but there is the expectation that women often drop out once they get pregnant, or maybe their household (they largely live with the husband's family) would object one day to their working and they would have to leave their job. You will find women who've finished med school staying at home, because their in-laws don't want them to work.

This is all anecdotal of course.

Flork's avatar

I read almost all of blogs. But as a Pakistani woman living in Pakistan, I think the trends have started to reverse, from my personal experience primarily because of social media. Women in urban upper middle and even middle are starting to become more progressive and feminist. Recently, Pakistanis saw this wave of femicide and child abuse cases. Cases like the murder of Hina Javed and Sana Yousaf, sparked conversation. Sana yousaf's murderer was senctence to death. Hopefully, we will get the same for Hina's case. But yes, I must testify unlike how American tradwife culture is just a niche and controversial thing. Alot of Pakistani women romanticize this life and consider it a norm.

A major factor in deciding a woman's life in Pakistan is her family's attitude and their socioeconomic status. From my experience, I found it odd when when my friend told me she has never gone to the side market all ny herself, mostly with her brothers. One of my friend told me that when she asked her mom to take her to the market, she replied, "Ab mein tumhein galiyon mein lekye phiron gi?" (Translation: Will i make you walk around on streets now with me?"(in a sort of angry, mocking tone). Whereas, I regularly go alone to the market or bus stop to uni, sometimes without telling anyone because my mother used to talk me to the market regularly and when I was learning to drive, my father took everywhere, even in places where I was the lone woman (like the printer repair shop or auto shop). Even though, I could see people feeling a bit odd for me being there, my father always took me.

Though, it also depends on the area you are in. Despite Punjab is still pretty abhorrent as compared to global standards, it is much better than NWFP or Balochistan when it comes to women venturing out and women leadership.

Anyways, I really enjoy reading your blogs, Alice, and I am a really big proponent of feminism and an egalitarian society. Also, I read your article on MENA low birth rate and somewhat high divorce rate. Despite the fact that Pakistan is a Muslim country, we still have this werid culture of thinking divorce is the end of a woman's life. I think this is because in Pakistan, despite the fact that people say they are proud muslim, are still connected to their cultural vedic roots. This the most ironic and frustrating thing about Pakistan.

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